Granimals: Meet the Pets of Granular
Millie the Girl in the Big City
Millie lives right here in Milwaukee with Senior Manager of Paid Media, Mike Schuerman and his wife, Liz.
Mike and Liz got Millie from the suburbs of Milwaukee when she was just a puppy. They had recently “dog-sat” for a family friend and fell in love with their Australian Shepherd, which they quickly realized they had to get an Aussie pup of their own. They contacted the same breeder of their friends’ dog and the rest was history..
She’s adjusted well from suburban to life in the city. She loves her bi-weekly “girls time” walks with her best friend, visiting her human friends at doggy daycare and training for city marathons with Mike. Don’t let her fool you though, once she gets to her grandparents house outside of the city, she thrives in the big open fields chasing the wildlife, such as the turkeys that frequent the backyard.
How did Millie get her name? – Mille is named after the city her parents met and fell in love, Milwaukee!
Nicknames: Millie has many nicknames that she’ll answer to, but our personal favorite is “Millie Moo.” When Millie was a pup, Mike and Liz dressed her up as a cow for Halloween and just randomly started calling her “Millie Moo”, Millie would get all excited and start wiggling her little booty every time they would “Moo” so the name has stuck ever since.
Honorable mentions: Bubba, Mealie & A Milli A Milli A Milli (author’s note: that’s what I’ve been calling her to myself as I write this so thought I’d add that)
Recommendations – Debbie, Young Millz, ChaMILLionnaire
What are some of Millie’s quirks?
Mike and Liz have a running list of quirks they dubbed “Millie Tings”:
- When she’s excited she wiggles her whole booty and her little tail nub
- Her “Face of Enjoyment” (see photo below)
- She cries tears of joy every time they give her a Greenie treat. She just stands there and smiles with it in her mouth, forgetting she can eat it right away.
- Playing hide and seek with her Bully Stick, where either Liz or MIke hides it in their apartment and she gets to go find it.
- On a similar note, she loves to hide her Kong toy and make Mike and Liz do the seeking.
Does Millie have a favorite toy? – Out of all the toys Millie’s been given, she found one rope that she absolutely loves and hasn’t destroyed it yet. Even though she’s ripped all their stuffing and squeakers out, Millie has a set of stuffed animals that she treats like their her babies. She knows them all by name and will tuck them into bed at night to go to sleep.
What’s her Favorite snack? – Eggs. Millie loves eggs. That girl Debbie from “The Girls Room” has nothing on Millie, she could out egg her any day. She also loves a fresh scoop of frozen cream cheese every now and then, but it still doesn’t compare to a good egg.
Does Millie have any special tricks (hidden up her sleeves)? – Yes, she’s a very smart girl so she knows all of the basic commands, but she specializes in high-fives and rolling over. If you hold your hand above your head and ask Millie for a high-five she will jump 5 feet in the air and perfectly slap your hand. Everytime.
If Millie was a PPC expert, what would he specialize in? – Brand Awareness. Once you see or meet Millie, she will leave a lasting impression.
What does Millie do while you’re working from home? – Bark for attention. She hates when Mike is on the phone, and only Mike for some reason.She’ll bark, cry or bring her rope over to Mike to try to get him off the phone. When that fails, she gets all cozy on the couch but huffs and puffs as she makes her bed to let Mike know she’s not happy about it.
If Millie was a human, who would play her in the movie about her life? – Shakira obviously. Not only do Millie’s hips not lie, she also can “Le-do-lo-le-lo-le, le-do-lo-le-lo-le” all night long.
Millie’s theme song: Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” the Mike & Liz Remix. Millie loves a good old classic remix, so really any song you can work “Millie” into is her theme song until she hears the next one. Here is a custom Apple Music playlist of some of her favorite songs performed by their original artists.
Podrick the Menace
Podrick belongs to me, Megan Klein, Manager of Paid Media at Granular. I helped The Rick break Amish in August of 2021, and my life hasn’t been the same since…
My house was basically a farm growing up. At one point we had 4 dogs, 4 cats, a “teacup” pig (he was 300lbs), and 2 goats, so I would argue that I am pretty qualified when it comes to raising pets. But let me tell you, nothing could have ever prepared me for Podrick and his obscenely unique personality.
How did Podrick get his name?: I am a big Game of Thrones fan but an even bigger fan of weird names for pets. Since Pod is a very loving Mini Aussie, naming him after Podrick Payne (the squire in GOT) just felt right. They both have red coats and are very loyal & loving boys.
My roommate recently adopted a cat and we obviously had to keep with the tradition… Meet Lady Brienne of Tarth.
Nicknames: Pod has a lot of nicknames depending on his behavior, but my personal favorite is Dennis. He loves to act out when he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention by stealing things and running away with a huge smile on his face, so I started calling him Dennis The Menace when he’s menacing. This evolved into just “Dennis” but at least he knows he’s being bad when we call him that and he’s a good boy again.
There’s also: The Rick, Pod, Poddy, Podrichardson, Poddy Rich, Big, Rickon, Ricky Rick & The Pod Man, the list goes on.
What are some of Pod’s quirks?: He loves to terrorize children, not hurt or harm them in anyway but likes to mess with them. We have a neighbor who loves to make chalk drawings in his driveway when he’s playing outside. Podrick has made it his life’s mission to pee on this poor boy’s art while he’s still drawing. I had to buy our neighbor a huge box of 250 different colored chalk to make up for Podrick being an absolute menace to society.
On a much cuter note Pod also loves to kiss you good morning and night and gives the best hugs. Nobody can hug in front of Pod unless he is involved, it’s adorable.
What has Pod been in trouble for before?: Nope. He is an absolute angel. Hasn’t done a bad thing in his life.
Does Pod have a favorite toy?: A Rubber tire named Robert, after Robert the sentient tire from the hit film Rubber. Recently Robert hasn’t been doing too well (Dennis got to him) so he’s starting to really enjoy the fishing pole cat toy we got for Lady.
If Podrick was a PPC expert, what would he specialize in? Awareness marketing, he really knows how to be seen and heard.
What does Pod do while you’re working from home?: He loves to watch TV, he has to watch The Price Is Right everyday (he loves the sound effects and people cheering, he thinks it’s for him). After that he’ll either nap or chase his sister around the house. You never know what Rick you’re gonna get.
If Podrick were a human, who would play him in the movie about his life?: Hands down Adam West, but specifically his character Mayor Adam West. He is the only actor meta enough to capture Podricks delusionality perfectly . Either him or RDJ in Tropic Thunder.
Podrick’s theme song: Shake Ya Tailfeather by Sean “P. Ditty” Combs, Murphy Lee & Nelly, from his favorite movie Bad Boys 2. He is a huge lover of the arts, check out his Spotify playlist: LINK HERE and you can also follow him on Instagram @PodricksPaynes
Josie the “Josie Breed”
Josie lives in Nashville with Granular Senior Manager of Paid Media, Mac Kurth and his wife, Celia. When Josie was a puppy, Lucky Mutts Rescue brought her to Wisconsin from Oklahoma where Celia and Mac adopted her when she was 4 months old.
Mac works remotely for Granular from Nashville while Josie sleeps on the couch. Josie has Mac very well trained that lunchtime is for walkies and 5 pm is for playtime. Every day she takes a break from her couch nap to remind Mac of his duties.
Just like Oscar Meyer the Wiener Dog, Josie was there for her parents’ engagement. Mac, Celia, Suzie (Josie’s doggy sister at the time) and Josie were camping at New Glarus State Park, where Josie took a knee with Mac when he proposed.
Breed: “Josie breed”, she’s a one-of-a-kind mutt.
Siblings: Pancake, the neighborhood cat who is determined to be part of Josie’s family whether she likes it or not. Mac and Celia have officially taken Pancake in and, within a week, they discovered that Pancake was pregnant. She has since had four kittens who Josie has also taken under her wing.
Favorite food: Whatever her humans are eating. If her humans dare to leave home without her, she rebels by stealing treats. When Mac and Celia return home and scold her, Josie puts herself in time out, sitting in the corner, staring at the wall.
Favorite human: Mac until anyone else comes over to the house and she abandons immediately for a new best friend.
Favorite toy: Josie looooves a good stick and will always choose a stick over any of her toys.
If Josie were a human, who would play her in the movie about her life?: Anna Kendrick. Josie is also small, energetic, and quipy.
If Josie was a PPC expert, what would she specialize in?: Automation, that PPC stuff would really cut into her naps.
If Josie were a superhero, what would her superpower be?: Super speed, Josie is a force to be reckoned with when she gets the zoomies.
Theme song: The song for which she was named, “Josie” by Blink-182. Mac also serenades her with Jolene by Dolly Parton but “Josie, Josie, Josie, Josieeeee”.
Josie does not have her own Instagram account but Mac’s is basically a Josie fan account. @macnzkurth
Mae the Fetch Star
Mae belongs to me, Aislinn Poe, Senior Manager of Paid Media at Granular. I’ve had Mae since she was 4 months old and she is now almost 6 years old.
Growing up, I dreamed of the day when I could get a puppy of my own. My parents told me not to get a puppy while I was in college, that I wouldn’t have enough time to take care of one. So I waited until I graduated…one whole day. I picked up Mae the day after I got my diploma.
Nicknames: Mae Mae (since her name is short, her nickname has to be longer), Maezer, Muffin, Crazy
How did Mae get her name?: Mae is named after the band Mae (it stands for Multi-sensory Aesthetic Experience) which was my favorite band from about 6th grade until college. It didn’t hurt that her name was Mabelline when I got her – named after her winged eyeliner look over her right eye.
What are some of Mae’s quirks?: When Mae was a puppy, it took her a while to figure out stairs. She would hop down with all of her legs at once rather than stepping down one paw at a time.
Mae is also a climber, she likes to be up high to survey her surroundings. This is why she has on more than one occasion been referred to as “Goat Puppy.”
What does Mae do while you’re working from home?: Above all else, Mae plays a mean fetch. She has and will play fetch all day long if the opportunity presents itself. This means that during Zoom meetings, I will often be spotted tossing a ball out of frame. I have even strategically placed my desk next to a hallway so that Mae has space to chase the ball.
What has Mae been in trouble for before?: Herding. Mae is an Australian Cattle Dog so she was built to herd cows. In city life, this mostly translates to herding the vacuum and people riding bikes, skateboards, rollerblades, or scooters (those Lime scooters around town in the summers are her mortal enemies).
Who is her favorite human?: Me until someone who will play fetch with her is around. Fetch is definitely the way to Mae’s heart.
Does Mae have a favorite toy?: Mae tends to destroy toys rather quickly, but she has one toy, a medium-sized hollow green ball, that has been there since the day I got her. It is starting to fall apart but has somehow survived her wrath all of these years.
If Mae were a human, who would play her in the movie about her life?: I imagine Mae being portrayed by Zoe Saldana of Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Trek, Avatar, and one of the best ballet movies of all time, Center Stage. The mix of high intensity and focus with being goofy and lots of energy.
Mae’s catchphrase: All time is ball time.
Mae’s theme song: Eye of the Tiger but with all of the instrumental “dun”s as “Mae” instead.
Oscar Meyer the Wiener Dog
Oscar Meyer the wiener dog belongs to Granular Founder/CEO Jordon Meyer and Agency Operations Manager Jaime Meyer. He is 12 lbs and 8 years old in dog years (48 in human years).
Oscar’s origin story: Jaime had a “one puppy” coupon (with no expiration date) from Jordon that went unredeemed for years. One day, a colleague of Jordon’s at the time mentioned they had a friend who received a puppy unexpectedly as a gift for their young toddler’s birthday and couldn’t keep it. They went to meet the puppy and fell instantly in love and Jaime was finally able to redeem that coupon! So Oscar found his way to the Meyers, and their lives were changed forever.
Oscar has been there with Jaime and Jordon for some important events in their life, including when they got engaged! It was an ordinary Saturday for the three of them. They went out to breakfast at their favorite restaurant and walked Oscar through the Peace Garden in Minneapolis. It was there, in front of a waterfall, that Jordon proposed to Jaime with Oscar there as their witness.
Who is Oscar?
In the autobiographical feature film about Oscar’s life, he would be played by Jeffrey Tambor of Arrested Development, the character for which he was named.
Favorite snack: Dentistix, he gets it as an after-dinner treat and will run laps around the house after receiving one. You can’t even say “Dentistix” around Oscar without him losing his mind.
Favorite toy: Oscar is fully obsessed with his bone. Jaime and Jordon continue to buy him the same bone over and over again to keep him happy. Whenever he gets a new one, he goes crazy for it: He plays for an hour straight, he can’t calm down, he will put it under a blankie or dog bed so he can pretend that he needs to dig for it.
Quirk: Oscar will suddenly decide he is scared of a certain part of the house. The part of the house changes each time. If you throw his bone there, he will tiptoe to get it and act like he’s walking on lava.
Who is Oscar’s favorite human?: Jaime, but it’s close. Oscar, Jaime, and Jordon participated in the wiener dog race at German Fest one year, knowing he would win if Jaime stood at the other end. Sure enough, he won that day!
If Oscar was a PPC expert, what would he specialize in?: Oscar would be a very old-school, purist PPCer who gets annoyed by all the new stuff Google throws at us. He growls at automation and RSAs.